{"id":15612,"date":"2008-06-02T07:30:00","date_gmt":"2008-06-02T11:30:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/hame.ink\/hameblog\/2008\/06\/02\/i-am-become-death-destroyer-of-snails\/"},"modified":"2025-09-12T07:49:44","modified_gmt":"2025-09-12T10:49:44","slug":"i-am-become-death-destroyer-of-snails","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/hame.ink\/blether\/2008\/06\/02\/i-am-become-death-destroyer-of-snails\/","title":{"rendered":"I am become Death, destroyer of snails"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Poor wee gastropods keep slithering across the path leading to my house, and it&#8217;s nearly impossible to distinguish them from shrivelled leaves until I feel that sickening <em>crunch<\/em> underfoot. I look, and there&#8217;s yet another creature with its brittle shell shattered and driven into its slimy flesh. I&#8217;m sorry.<br \/>Last night I went out on a household emergency, buying loo-roll since we were nearly out. The corner store didn&#8217;t have our flavour of Andrex, so I bought the one they had that was the closest approximation. It has <em>puppies<\/em> on it, and features this as its Unique Selling Proposition. I don&#8217;t know what product development person managed to push this product through, but contrary to whatever market research they did, I really, really don&#8217;t want to wipe my @rse with a puppy! And look how they show it, holding out a paw like it&#8217;s offering itself up as a sacrifice. &#8220;I know I&#8217;m cute and adorable, but I also realise that you have needs, great human master.&#8221;<br \/>Sick.<br \/>Now if it were a kitten, sure.<br \/>~<br \/>Most of my life right now is going on in my head (like Chapter 17 of <em>Finitude<\/em>, which is underway), so I haven&#8217;t anything to report.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n<div class=\"blogger-post-footer\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"1\" height=\"1\" src=\"https:\/\/hame.ink\/blether\/wp-content\/uploads\/posts\/1081\/i-am-become-death-destroyer-of-snails0.jpg.webp\" alt=\"\"><\/div><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Poor wee gastropods keep slithering across the path leading to my house, and it&#8217;s nearly impossible to distinguish them from shrivelled leaves until I feel that sickening crunch underfoot. I look, and there&#8217;s yet another creature with its brittle shell shattered and driven into its slimy flesh. I&#8217;m sorry.Last night I went out on a [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-15612","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/hame.ink\/blether\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/15612","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/hame.ink\/blether\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/hame.ink\/blether\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/hame.ink\/blether\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/hame.ink\/blether\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=15612"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/hame.ink\/blether\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/15612\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/hame.ink\/blether\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=15612"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/hame.ink\/blether\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=15612"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/hame.ink\/blether\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=15612"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}