I had my second driving lesson today, and as much as it must have seemed like a mess to the instructor, it was full of breakthroughs for me.
I drove around other cars without worrying at all about crashing into them and killing everyone inside. Suddenly it just seemed obvious, like “Of course I’m not going to crash into them.”
Changing gears above first was easy, too (getting into first still poses a challenge, especially when I’m trying to think about other things, like making a right turn). The gearbox in the instructor’s car is much more precise and yet forgiving than our car, but Saturday afternoon was devoted to being “Clutch Day”, and I think I made progress. (I can stop without stalling almost every time.)
Learning to pass the driving test is not my goal. Learning to drive well is my goal. And it’s not even a goal: I understand it’s a process.
Even though the meme is quite old, I’ve decided to do the “30-Day Drawing Challenge“. I just may not do it in 30 consecutive days.
Here’s day one: me.
In my first lesson, my instructor and I somehow got onto the topic of bungee-jumping and other “xtreeeme” sports. I mentioned something I read somewhere, which proved that there’s actually no transference of qualities from that experience to any other aspect of life””in other words, propelling yourself off a bridge with an elastic band attached to your feet won’t make you feel any better about dating.
You know what? I think that might be wrong. Driving is something I’ve avoided for a long time. I’ve even had recurring nightmares about it (suddenly popping into the driver’s seat on a busy motorway but the controls don’t work, I’m surrounded by huge lorries, I’m actually sitting in the back seat but trying to reach the controls, &c).
But I’m starting to get it. Slowly, and maybe it’ll take me forever, but I’m making progress, and that’s a good feeling.
I mean, hell, I learned how to write in shorthand. That was a skill I had to acquire from scratch. But it wasn’t exactly scary (except a few times early on when I’d taken important notes and couldn’t read my outlines after). Driving is still a bit scary, but I’m finding ways to deal with that, like EFT, which may just be hocus-pocus, except that it works consistently for me.
A big part of that may be because the technique gets you to articulate what you’re afraid of. In this case, it’s hurting other people, looking foolish, being overwhelmed and discovering I can’t learn this, or causing expensive car-damage. Oh, okay. And can I trust myself to be a careful and safe driver? Yes. Can I be a patient and committed learner? Yes.
So that’s that. And last week I wrote a ton of copy in the face of some unreasonable deadlines. I hit a wall with that at one point””so I had a nap, then finished the job. Amazing how a nap can reboot your brain and energy.
I just looked over at Craig and said, “It’s nice to have spare time.” I don’t have anything planned at the moment that requires me to use my evenings to prepare for it. That feels really good. I feel like reading, doodling, and writing this.
Yes, this is just what I needed. Driving lessons are enough of a commitment for this month.