Yesterday I got a pay-rise. And a free lunch with some of my team-mates at The Coach. And a gift certificate — which I had to spend last night ’cause I’m leaving town tomorrow. I bought myself some smelly stuff at Aveda, which I would never have bought on my own.
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Just now at the office, I got gifts from Catherine (my editor) and Julia (who visited this summer).
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It’s all a bit overwhelming to me, and it feels like it’s underlining something I need to learn about gracefully accepting gifts, rewards, and compliments — and handling the idea that I might be worth them.
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Before my mad dash to the mall, I had dinner with my friend Robert. He’s such an amazing man. Not only does he run a great restaurant here in Ontario for the half of the year when he’s not in Trinidad, he also works tirelessly raising money for charities. Last year he collected $30,000 for other people in need. Even better: he makes it fun. He’s not long-suffering or showy about it; he does it purely out of love. Being in his presence last night, I was so moved I couldn’t help getting teary.
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The richest people I know are also the people who give away the most and live the biggest adventures.
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Over our excellent dinner (at a Thai restaurant at Alexander and Yonge — check it out) Robert acknowledged the life I’m living: “I look at you,” he said, “and you’ve really got it made.” Me?
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I do, I really do.
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I remember the instructor saying in a workshop I took years ago, “How good can you stand it to be?” It’s true: we can do great things, or we can create messes. It all ends the same, but the experience along the way is so completely different. I know that I’m the author of this abundance that I’m blessed with right now. At the same time, I know that it flows around me; I didn’t do this at all. A life that works is a combination of sweat and magic.
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I’m overwhelmed with joy and gratitude.
